On Horses and Grief

In over twenty years of riding and working with horses, I have met many people who turn to horses during times of grief. I did this, too, after my divorce in 2006.

My life felt so sad and I was bitter. I tried a lot of different things to make myself feel better: exercise and diet; dating; drinking; buying clothing and ranting at and about my ex. Some of these things helped temporarily, but nothing put me back on track to being the person I had been before being consumed by grief and sadness. I used to be funny, fairly happy-go-lucky, direct and I almost always could see the best in people, animals and situations. This was not true for me when I was grieving after the divorce.

When I finally found the courage to return to horses (which I did by attending a volunteer training at High Hopes Therapeutic Riding and subsequently volunteering in program), I finally experienced a little internal shift - a lightening of the grief, a solace in the activity of being around horses.

In the time since, I've met many people who turn to horses and riding for all kinds of reasons (good and bad), and I fairly frequently meet people coming to horses during times of grief or transition. I have some theories about why:

• When you are angry and grieving, there's "something big and alive" inside you. When you work with horses, you have the opportunity to work with something big and alive outside you. There is great relief in this. It is simply a channeling of energy away from a persistent, internal, negative force to an equally powerful, external, inspiring one. There's a lot of momentary relief and comfort in that experience. Ideally, it brings one present.
• Many horses have a presence that inspires solace. They are large and they are flight animals but they choose to stand beside us; enjoy our company. It makes one feel less alone.
• When you are making an internal life transition (through loss or change), it is powerful to ride. Riding is all about physical balance, transitions and forward momentum. Riding can take the body through this; often, it translates to the soul. Riding can be an incentive to embrace change and forward movement, to see these elements in the light of  positive adventure, which riding should be.

So grateful for the horses in my life and all that they've taught me over these past years.
Okay, enough deep thoughts for a Monday morning! Thanks for reading!