Yes, the title is provocative! But, for better or worse, this blog continues to just be about horses, teaching and the field of Equine Assisted Activities & Therapies. I am "blogging from bed" because for the past two weeks I've been fighting exhaustion, illness and mild depression.
Symptoms of the End of Session Blues.
Most dedicated teachers I know have experienced this phenomenon... You come to the end of a school year, semester or program session. Your students have excelled. Your horses (if applicable) have inspired, taught, tolerated and performed beyond even your own expectations for them. You have provided grades, evaluations or even just the verbal "ringside" progress reports common in my field. Maybe you've gone to a horse show or hosted a demonstration - showing off all those great skills and accomplishments that your riders have worked so hard to achieve.
It's a wonderful, wonderful, BUSY time.
And then it's over, suddenly and without much transition, and you are "on break." For me, this is when it always sets in - End of Session Blues. Often, the symptoms are a scratchy throat, leading to a full blown cold or flu. ("Great," I'll chastise myself, "You finally have some down time and now you are sick!!!") Sometimes, the symptom may include ennui - this deep boredom that cannot be permeated - the need to sit listlessly, watching endless Jane Austen movies or Golden Girls reruns while eating too many bags of microwave popcorn. Other times, there might be a pervasive restlessness (characterized by lack of concentration even for "comfort television"), the knowledge that there are lots of little things to attend to (blog entries to write, bills to pay, instructor annual compliance forms to complete) but utter lack of motivation to even start on any of them. There is sometimes even this weird guilt ("I have all this time now, shouldn't I be doing something???") Occasionally, there will be an emotional "fit" - crying over nothing, freaking out over small things and releasing the tension of that busy end-of-semester time (thankfully, neither my husband nor my dog tell tales).
So, am I overly neurotic? (Likely.) Or is this just the aftermath of a teaching job well done? I think it is probably a combination of the two, the letdown after the emotional high of coaching students on horseback towards achievements that surprise them, their loved ones and even me. It should be a time of reflection, professional development or rest, but for me "End of Session" is often a time of residual stress, a little sadness and physical exhaustion. This morning, though, I am "blogging from bed" - a good sign that the neurotic End of Session Blues are coming to an end... the return of productive energy and wellness, professional motivation and joy.
